In my multi-decade career, I’ve been able to hit a lot of milestones. Winning ADDYs, lecturing at my alma mater, judging award shows… all exceptional experiences. But this past week I got to check off another box, thanks to the American Advertising Federation’s Washington, DC chapter (thanks too, Louise!): I was asked to be one of three panelists (alongside new friends Angela and Kevin) to discuss and critique this year’s crop of Super Bowl ads.

I’m 100 percent one of those people who only loves the big game for the snacks, halftime show, and the commercials. And this year’s spots weren’t bad (except for whatever the hell that RFK Jr. thing was). I love the anticipation. The excitement. And the surprise when I finally get to see who decided to spend $7 million for 30 seconds. For a lot of advertising people, it’s like Christmas morning.

(And for me, the big gifts were the Affleck Dunkin Donuts and Walken BMW spots, FTR. )

BUT.

I’ve seen a disturbing pattern the last decade or so. From USA Today and morning TV shows to YouTube and the socials, there are teases, sneak-peeks, and in a lot of cases, brands just dropping their whole-ass commercials a week or two before the game.

What?

I would have liked “Uber Eats Remembers,” “Michael CeraVE,” “Agent State Farm” or “Tina Fey does Booking.com” if I hadn’t SEEN THEM BEFOREHAND. As it was, I’d already seen those ads (and a few others) multiple times before I even started on my family’s epic Super Bowl snack menu. So by the time these spots showed up on our modest 70-inch screen last Sunday, my response was a big, sighing “MEH.” If I saw them before the Super Bowl, they were no longer Super Bowl ads. Period, end of story. I can’t drop a movie during Spring Break and call it a “Summer Blockbuster.”

Maybe it’s just me. I hate spoilers. Whether it’s movie plot twists, award show winners, or even the setlist for a concert I’m about to go to. I don’t want to know. I want to experience it in the moment. (Oh my God, I’m one step away from yelling and shaking a stick at the clouds. Send help.)

I also know the marketing side of the business. I know all about trying to get the most “bang for your buck.” But come on. Premiere it at the bowl and then run it for the next month. Showing off your big bang Super Bowl ad BEFORE the Super Bowl is just… anticlimactic.

Or in the case of Temu (Pronounced TEH-moo), maybe… just don’t do a spot at all?

That’s all I got.

Me and the not-so-Super Bowl Ads.

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