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The Three Reasons Your Brand Should Get Off Twitter. Now.

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I see you, sitting there watching TV on a big, boxy set. Talking on your landline while checking your “beigeboxcomputersrule@aol" e-mail. And you’re probably one of the people who still thinks the World Wide Web is a passing fad, or worse, you call it “The Internets.”


So I can only imagine what you think about Twitter, the rest of the world’s favorite 140-character way to communicate, share, blog, complain, flirt, stalk and share. Sure, you put your business on there, because everyone does, right?


But now what? Should you be retweeting? What is retweeting? Why are there so many pictures of cleavage? Why are they calling a pound sign a hashtag? Why do you only have 4 followers? Ugh. Direct mail was so much easier.


So, I’m gonna save you some trouble. Here are the three reasons you should get your brand off Twitter, now:


1.    You don’t care about customer service. I mean, letting your customers have instant access to you just seems ridiculous. You should have as many layers as possible in between you so you don’t have to listen to silly things like why they like your product or what they wish the next version could do. And heaven forbid these customers actually want to get a question answered. Personally, it was almost annoying how quickly TiVo, Cox, and BigAssFans responded to and solved my concerns when I posted them on Twitter. Nope nope nope. SHUT IT DOWN. Then, hire this guy:

2.    You don’t have a point of view. Yeah, you don’t care about industry trends, or up-to-the-second discussions of them. You don’t have any interest in sharing relevant news, tips, or best practices, or weighing in on said conversations and having people think that you’re some kind of – gasp – experienced industry expert. What value could there ever be in that? Besides having a ton more people following and engaging with you, I can’t think of a single one.

3.    You prefer paragraphs. “War and Peace” is your favorite book. “Abridged” is a dirty word when looking for something to read. And you cannot fathom what you could possibly say of value in 140 total characters, even though literally millions of your loyal fans, potential customers, valued partners and prospective investors do it every day. No, you stand firm and keep sending out that exhaustively lengthy monthly newsletter instead – it’s both timely and informative, and will never get relegated to a junk folder – ever.  

I can see you nodding your head. So just go ahead and pull the plug. Or, you can actually use social media to nurture and grow your brand. Your choice. 

© 2015 by Kwame DeRoché

Kwame DeRoche